ANGER! WHAT IS ANGER?

Dictionary.com: “a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.”

American Psychological Association: “Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. … It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems.” [emphasis added]

IS ANGER GOOD OR BAD?

• Emotions, especially anger, are created by God for our good but can be experienced and expressed to the harm of others and ourselves.
• Anger can be either good or harmful depending on why you feel angry and what you do in your anger. Is your anger productive or destructive?

In order to experience and express anger in a godly and productive manner, we need to first understand what should cause anger and what shouldn’t cause us to be angry.

WHAT CAUSES ANGER?

• Secondary vs. Primary emotions: Anger is actually a secondary emotion.
• Primary emotions that often lead to anger are: embarrassed, attacked, guilt, rejected, hurt, regret, insecure, anxious, disrespected, grief, envy, and fear.
• We should feel angry when sin and injustice occur. Anger is to be righteous indignation as we see illustrated by Christ:
  • In Mark 3:1-5, Jesus was angry at the Pharisee’s hard hearts.
  • In John 2:13-17, Jesus was angry with the money changers at the Cleansing of the Temple.

GOD GETS ANGRY AND HAS CREATED ANGER FOR US TO EXPERIENCE, AS WELL. WE ARE TO BE SLOW TO ANGER.

Proverbs 16:32 (NIV) He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

Proverbs 14:17 (NIV) A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.

• • Temper: (noun)1

1. a person’s state of mind seen in terms of their being angry or calm.

2. the degree of hardness and elasticity in steel or other metal. “the blade rapidly heats up and the metal loses its temper”

“ANGER MUST BE CAREFULLY GUARDED SO AS NOT TO PASS INTO SIN. ANGER THAT IS SELFISH, UNDISCIPLINED, AND UNCONTROLLED IS ALWAYS SINFUL; AND EVEN THAT WHICH STARTS OUT AS RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION ALL TO EASILY DEGENERATES TO THIS LEVEL.”

                                                                                            – Curtis Vaughan, Ephesians

OK, YOU’RE ANGRY. NOW WHAT? ANGER EXPRESSED:

We all get angry, sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong reasons. Either way, God says that in our anger, we are not to sin.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV) In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Psalm 4:4 (ESV) Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.

Proverbs 29:11 (NIV) – Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

James 1:19–20 (NIV) – My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

HOW CAN I CHANGE?

• Fight the right fight by identifying the actual problem—not the perceived problem that leads to anger.
• What am I believing that is causing me to feel anger? Is that actually true? Am I sure?
• I’m getting angry… should I be? Is there a primary emotion that I am covering up with anger?
• Instead of trying hard to fix my anger, increase my patience, or keep my temper, focus on the strength of my faith, trust, hope, belief, and identity in Christ.
• Ask for help from others.

WHEN OTHERS ARE ANGRY…

• Don’t take it personally and get offended, unless it’s your fault, then apologize.
• Be curious as to what is causing the anger. Is it really anger, or a primary emotion?
• Don’t get angry back.
• Don’t ever say “calm down.”

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT AND DISCUSS:

Passages to consider: Proverbs 29:11; James 1:19-21; Ephesians 4:26-27,31-32; Exodus 34:6,7 • What stood out to you from the sermon?

1. How did you become aware of some of the “bosses”in your life?

2. Read Exodus 34:6,7 and James 119-21 OR choose a passage from the sermon. Read it twice. A) What do you discover about God in this passage? A) What do you discover about people in this? B) What do you discover about what can be the boss of you?

3. Talk about the idea of anger being a secondary emotion or the tip of an iceberg. A) What helps or could help you slow down, pause, and discern what is going on?

4. When you are angry, what kind of reaction or pathway do you follow? A) How does anger impact different parts of your world—family, fellow believers, work place, neighborhood, social media presence?

5. How do you deal with others when they are angry?

6. What has God been showing you about anger or the emotions that can be the boss of you?