OFFENSES FROM OUR IMMEDIATE RELATIONSHIPS

Our immediate relationships are those that are in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, the church, and friendship. They are the relationships that are experienced the most often and are most often the deepest and closest.

Expectations

• • We place higher expectations on those we have higher degrees of relationship with and that we are closer to.

Unmet Expectations

• • Frustration, disappointment, hurt and anger can come from unmet expectations.
  • Frustration, disappointment, hurt and anger can easily grow into offense.
• The closer the relationship the higher the expectations. When we don’t meet a low level of expectations, the result is a low level of offense. When we don’t meet a high level of expectations we get a high level of offense.

THE PROGRESSION OF OFFENSE:

Matthew 24:10-12 (NKJV) 10And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. 11Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. 12And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.

• It’s not if offenses will happen, it’s when. It’s what we do when an offense occurs that matters.

WE ARE TO AVOID HARBORING OFFENSES:

• Harboring an offense can lead to betrayal and hatred and isolation.

Proverbs 18:1 (NKJV) A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.

1 John 3:15 (NIV) Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

WE ARE TO FORGIVE OFFENSES: (See also Galatians 6:1)

Matthew 5:44 (NIV) But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Luke 17:1-4 (NKJV) 1Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! 2It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

WE ARE TO AVOID BECOMING OFFENDED FROM OFFENSES:

Acts 24:16 (NKJV) This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NIV) 3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT AND DISCUSS:

Passages to consider: Romans 12:9-21; Matthew 5:21-26,38-48; Matthew 6:9-15; 1 Corinthians 13

Icebreaker: Would you rather, for the rest of your life: be around someone who talks nonstop, or be all alone on a deserted island?

1. From the sermon, what was challenging or insightful to you?

2. Read Matthew 5:21-26 & 38-48. Read it twice. What insights does Jesus share about relationships, being offended, and dealing with offense?

3. What is familiar from these passages? What is fresh to you from these passages?

4. How do you typically respond to those close to you when there is a challenge in the relationship? (You may think of immediate family, extended family, friends, fellow believers, co-workers, neighbors, or enemies.) A) What works? What doesn’t work? B) How well does your response line up with what Jesus is saying?

5. Read Psalm 4:4,5 & Ephesians 4:1-3. What insights do these passages give you about handling offense in the midst of your close relationships? A) What can be a road block for you to dealing with offense in relationships? Note: The Five Languages of Apology can be a helpful resource

6. What do you see God showing you? A) How will you respond?