Proverbs 18:21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

o We have the ability to speak life or to speak death into the people around us!

• The saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” couldn’t be further from the truth!

James 3:5-10 5In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. 7People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, 8but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. 9Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

o Words are like toothpaste—once they’re out, there’s no getting them back in!

• This week, we will look at four contrasting ways we can bring life or death through our words.

•  Studies show that people, on average, tell four lies a day.

Proverbs 12:22 The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.

• The Hebrew word for detests actually means abomination, loathsome, it makes one nauseous. The picture is that when we lie, it actually makes God nauseous.

John 14:6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

• Jesus didn’t just say he likes truth, or he always tells the truth. He said he is the truth!
• Satan always desires to warp and destroy what God has called good; therefore he is a liar!

John 8:44 For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.

• If Satan is the “father of lies,” and lying is his native language, you may never be more like the devil than when you are telling lies.
• Satan has a plan to get you to devalue truth and be okay with deception.

o He starts first by getting you to question God. Then he tells you God is a liar. Then he gets you to lie to others and yourself!

o The devil hates truth!

• •  He will lie to you, as a child of God, and tell you God doesn’t love or want you.
  •  He’ll lie to people who are not followers of God and tell them they’re okay without God.
• In John 8:31, Jesus said that the truth will set you free.
• No wonder Satan hates the truth. Lies bring bondage, and the truth brings freedom!

Proverbs 18:6-8 6Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating. 7The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips. 8Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.

•  Most of us know that gossip can hurt the person we’re talking about, but gossip actually hurts everyone involved.

Proverbs 16:28 A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.

Proverbs 26:20 Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

•  We all have a choice as to whether we will speak death or life to someone else.

Proverbs 12:18 Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

•  What kind of person do you want to be—a life taker, or a life giver?

o Critics speak death.

• The Pharisees were critics. All they could do was find fault in others.
• The devil is a critic. He is called “the accuser.”

o Encouragers speak life.

• Pharisees would find fault. Jesus spoke life into people.
• He would confront sin, but then give encouragement.

• What do you complain about most?

o The problem is not whatever you complain about. It is the fact that we have taken our eyes off of the blessings God has given us.

•  Over and over in scripture, we are told to give thanks to God.

o Thanksgiving is for us. It’s hard to be negative and thankful at the same time! The real problem with lying, gossiping, and criticizing is not our big, fat mouth—it’s our heart.

Luke 6:45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

LIFE HACKS

1. Before you get out of bed in the morning, ask God to help guard your lips.

2. The next time you are dishonest, apologize to whomever you were dishonest to.

3. Ask someone who is gossiping why they are telling you what they are telling you.

4. For every criticism you give, say five encouraging things.

5. Try to keep a running list of everything you are thankful for.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION/DISCUSSION AT HOME AND IN YOUR LIFE GROUP

1. Revisit each of the Proverbs on this outline, then work as a group to summarize or restate them in your own words.

2. Share a personal story about a time when you experienced the power of words—when your tongue directed you where you didn’t want to go, destroyed like a wild fire, or displayed the overflow of your heart in a way that surprised you? What could/should you have done differently in that situation? What, if anything, did you do to try and make it right?

3. Matthew 15:18 says the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart. What do your words show you about your heart? What helps you be aware of how what you feed your heart (what you read, listen to, think about) impacts your words?

4. Walk back through the trio of Life Hacks and discuss together how they can help you better train your tongue and speak life. What’s one thing will you do this week to help train your tongue? Who will you ask to help encourage and keep you accountable?

5. What was for you in this message? What, from this message, is God pressing upon you to share with someone else?