•  When we seek unity, we fight for our relationships.
• When we seek to be right, we often end up fighting against someone.

John 17:20-23 (NIV) 20My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—23I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Ephesians 4:3 (NIV) Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Romans 15:5-7 (NIV) 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted, in order to bring praise to God.

Ephesians 6:10-12 (NIV) 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Galatians 5:16-17 (NLT) 16So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

Philippians 2:3 (NIV) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.

Boxes: Family of origin, our own experiences, our hurts and hang ups

How we interact with the major “boxes” in our lives is ultimately driven by what is in our hearts.

1ST FIGHT: It’s internal—what I do in my heart. (1 John 1:6-7, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7)

Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV) 3Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

2ND FIGHT: We seek to understand: “Am I listening to respond with my point, or to understand?” (Proverbs 1:5)

James 1:19 (NIV) Know this, my brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

3RD FIGHT: Jesus is the perfect balance of grace and truth. (John 1:14, Ephesians 4:25-27)

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV) 12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

CONCLUSION

o What specific relationship do you need to seek reconciliation and unity in?

•  Fighting divides us from one another.

o Are you willing to surrender being right to win? What do you need to repent of today? How will you give up your self-rule and trust God?

•  Fight for one another!

o Are you willing to love who God loves? Who do you need to fight for?