INTRODUCTION

• The Bible uses a building as a metaphor for the church, our homes, and our lives.
• Last week, we looked at the “Foundation.” (Ephesians 2:20)
• Jesus is the cornerstone that the foundation is centered on.
• God’s Word is the foundation of the building (the church and our lives).

THIS WEEK, WE’RE LOOKING AT THE “WALLS” OF THE HOUSE.

• Walls define a space. Inside that space, unique things happen.
• When we think of the “walls,” we think of the “oneness” God desires us to have in our relationships.

ONENESS DEFINITION:

• From Google Dictionary: the fact or state of being unified or whole, though comprised of two or more parts.
• In Genesis 2:18-24, we see the oneness that God desires for us in marriage. o     “Oneness” is not talking about “sameness.”
  • Twice in the passage it says, “just right for him.” God could have made woman more like man but knew what was just right for him.
  • Oneness is taking two individuals and creating a new entity—one where each person retains their uniqueness, but they are also stronger as a couple.
  • While there is a special oneness that only comes from marriage, God desires all of us to have relationships where there is the oneness that comes from agape1 love.

Today we want to look at four important walls in this home metaphor. These are “load-bearing walls.” You can’t remove load-bearing walls without disrupting the integrity of the building.

1)                                                                     

Proverbs 3:5-6 5Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

• In the same way that God is trustworthy, we are called to be trustworthy, as well!

2)I can’t stress how important this is in a good relationship of any kind! Even though we are going to talk about what it looks like in our family, it’s important in any relationship.

• How we communicate can either build trust or destroy it.
• Do you listen to respond or listen to understand?

3)                                                                     

• Every single deep relationship requires intimacy—marriage, parenting, friendships…
  • Intimacy: the state of being familiar; something of a personal or private nature2
  • It is knowing and being known… on a level deeper than just hang-out conversation.
• There are different kinds of intimacy: physical, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional.
• Vulnerability and transparency—these are connected but different.
  • Vulnerability is the willingness to take risks, to make our ideas known, and to engage with others in the process.
  • Transparency is opening our hearts, admitting our fears, and acknowledging our past failures. It is a slower process to be transparent with the deeper places of our heart.
  • Praying together requires both transparency and vulnerability.

4)                                                                     

• In God’s Word, we see that family members have different roles. In Ephesians 5:21-6:9, God speaks into roles of husbands and wives, parents and children, bosses and workers.
• As a general rule, we don’t like the word “submit.” Our culture has made it a bad word. But Christ submitted to the ow can submission be bad?

• Wives are to submit to their husband’s leadership (unless he leads them to sin).
• Children are to submit to their parents.
• We are actually all called to submit to each other.
  • We submit to each other as friends in accountable relationships.
  • Husbands do this by loving their wives as Christ loves the Church.

MEN AND WOMEN ARE                                                                                   .

Ephesians 5:33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

• Men are wired for respect as a primary need whereas women are wired for love.
  • Both want love and respect, but the primary need is different.
• Not only are men and women different in general but also every person is unique. This is especially true in marriage and THAT’S A GOOD THING!

GOD TELLS US HOW TO HANDLE OUR DIFFERENCES:

Ephesians 4:2-3 2Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.

NEXT STEPS IN GROWING IN ONENESS:

• Proximity is important. You can’t develop oneness if you aren’t present.
• Don’t look for problems and challenges, but do expect them.
  • Let’s be inspecting our relationships and working on improving them before the storms come.
• Allow God to change you instead of wasting your time trying to change the others.
• Continue the conversation with your spouse, children, friends, and Life Group.

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT AND DISCUSS:

Passages to consider: Ephesians 5:21-6:4; Philippians 2:1-4; Matthew 7:24-27

• What insights did you gain from the sermon?

1. Which walls in your living space are the loadbearing walls? Have you ever been a part of changing or constructing a loadbearing wall?
2. Read Philippians 2:1-4. A) What does this passage say about relationships? B) What does this passage show about unity and oneness?
3. What has been your experience about building unity, closeness, oneness in your most significant relationships?
   1. What has been key? B) What has been challenging?
4. Read Ephesians 5:21-6:4. Note: Consider the season you are in regarding your home sphere. What truths stand out to you?
5. What load bearing walls are you building in your key relationships? A) What “wall” do you want to give some attention to? B) What would that look like? Think about what applies to you at this time: marriage, parenting, extended family, and significant friendships.
6. Inspection challenge: Take intentional time this week to inspect the unity and authenticity of your key relationships. Listen to each other; listen to God. What do you discover?

Passages to prepare for next week, Built to Last (Week 3) The Roof: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

¹Find definitions and uses of the Greek and Hebrew words used in the Bible with the concordances at BibleHub.com!

²Defintion of intimacy taken from Merriam-Webster.com

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation