PRIDE KILLS INTIMACY… HUMILITY LEADS TO LOVE… LOVE CRUSHES CRITICISM

Proverbs 18:2 (NKJV)A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

Philippians 2:3-8 (NIV) 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!

HUMILITY WAS NOT THE REASON JESUS WENT TO THE CROSS… LOVE WAS.

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Matthew 22:34-40 (NIV) 34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

• You aren’t loving God if you aren’t loving others.

WHAT IS LOVE?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails…

• If we are loving the people in our lives with agape (biblical) love, criticism is crushed.

A GREAT COMMITMENT TO THE GREAT COMMANDMENT WILL CRUSH CRITICISM.

HOW TO LOVE…

1. PRAY

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) 22But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

2. REMOVE THE LOG

Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV) 3And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4How can you think of saying to your friend, “Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,” when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

3. MAKE CRITICISM CONSTRUCTIVE (See also Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 11:11, and 1 Peter 3:9)

• Criticism often comes in an aggressive, confrontational, direct form, and is usually manifested through words.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) 13But encourage [exhort] one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

• Exhort: παρακαλεῖτε (parakaleite) Verb – Present Imperative Active – 2nd Person Plural Strong’s Greek 3870: From para and kaleo; to call near, i.e. Invite, invoke.3

o This comes from the word Parakletos which is a word used for the Holy Spirit (Advocate or Helper) in John 14:16; 26; 15:26; 16:7 and also for Jesus in 1 John 2:1

4. CELEBRATE THE DIFFERENCES (See 1 Corinthians 12:14-27)

• You can criticize, or you can celebrate, but you can’t do both.

CONTEXT OF 1 PETER 4 FOUND IN 1 PETER 2 & 3

• Chapter 2: submitting yourself to all human authority including government and work.
• Chapter 3: How submission plays out in marriage. (See 1 Peter 3:1-8)

1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

A GREAT COMMITMENT TO THE GREAT COMMANDMENT WILL CRUSH CRITICISM.

QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS IN LIFE GROUP OR WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Passages to consider: James 3:3-12, 13-17; Hebrews 3:13; Proverbs 18:21

1. From the sermon, what was new, challenging, or insightful to you?

2. Read James 3:3-12 and Hebrews 3:13. What do you see in these passages about words and attitudes?

3. In your experience, what are examples of encouragement/celebration?

4. If you monitored your words and thoughts, what part does criticism play in your thinking and conversations? A) What role does celebration—encouragement—have in your marriage, parenting, and/or relationships?

5. Read Proverbs 18:21. What are life-giving words? What are words of death?

6. What is God showing you about this area? How will you intentionally, specifically respond?