THIS WEEK: ANGER

• Definition: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.
• Question: Can you think of a time when you got angry or lost your temper?
  • Maybe it was in your car (road rage), at your kids, with coworkers, at your kids’ sporting events…

1. Anger can be a positive thing when it is godly or righteous anger.

• By “positive,” I mean angry at the right thing and then acting the right way.
• God gets angry at injustice, sin, and the effects of sin on us and others.
• Many great things have happened as a result of godly anger: the civil rights movement, women’s rights, the prolife/anti-abortion movement, fighting against human trafficking, etc.
• God’s righteous anger:
  • Jesus was angry at the Pharisee’s hard hearts towards the crippled man in Mark 3:1-5.
  • Jesus was angry with the money changers at the Cleansing of the Temple in John 2:13-17.

2. Anger was given as a protective measure, physically.

• The limbic system:
  • In part, the limbic system holds your memories and is the part of your brain that senses danger and provides an immediate reaction to it—the fight, flight, or freeze reaction.
  •  Adrenaline kicks in, and you react.
  • Anger can save your life!

3. Anger is a secondary emotion—it’s the tip of the emotional iceberg.

• Anger is tied to a past experience that has created a belief.
• I can be afraid of something that causes anger.
• We may be ashamed, afraid, or even insecure, and it comes out as anger.

4. We all struggle with anger—it comes in different forms.

• Anger at yourself, like self-loathing for not doing something that you should or doing something you shouldn’t.
• Anger at yourself, including hurting yourself.
• Anger at others.
• Passive aggressive anger—being non-confrontative.
• Anger can cause us to resent others, to stonewall or withhold from others, and to vent on others.
• Silence can be deafening.

SCRIPTURE TELLS US THAT HUMAN ANGER IS A PROBLEM. WHY?

1. God’s anger is based on truth—knowing all the factors—with no brokenness, nor sinful nature.

2. What’s wrong with human anger? It’s a bad counselor and terrible boss. Why?

• Man’s anger is based on incomplete understanding, a sinful nature, and selfishness.
• It doesn’t bring about righteousness; it often destroys.
• It causes us to act irrationally and destroy relationships.

James 1:19–20 (NIV) 19My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

3. What does human anger create if we don’t deal with it rightly, if we internalize it? (See Hebrews 12:14-15)

4. What happens when we lose our temper? (See Proverbs 29:11 and 29:22, Ecclesiastes 7:9, and Psalm 27:8)

HOW DO WE DEAL WITH ANGER?

James 4:1–11

WHAT DO I DO WITH ANGER?

Ask yourself, “Am I righteously angry?” and, “What is the right way to deal with my righteous anger?”

1. James says the problem is often in me and is not about others. (See James 4)

• Recognize that anger often says more about me then it does others or the situation. It shows when I have sinful desires/wants in me that are being blocked by others.
• Losing my temper means that there is something wrong inside me.
• It says I may have not dealt with things as they come up—the last straw syndrome.

2. When I am beginning to feel it rise up, I push pause and take a deep breath. (See Psalm 4:4 and Proverbs 16:32)

•  I have to be careful—I am not God, so I can’t make assumptions. I don’t understand what God understands here.
• I have an incomplete understanding of both me and of them.
• Look inside first. What am I believing?
• What does righteous anger look like?

3. Remember to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

• Being quick to listen means asking questions and expressing curiosity.
• Am I perceiving things rightly? What is the right thing to do with my part of the equation?

4. I humble myself before God, and submit to Him. What does He want in this fight? (See Romans 12:17-21)

• Don’t act without allowing God into the equation.
• Get wise counsel without gossip; humble myself to that wise counsel.

5. Deal with the issue. Don’t give the devil a foothold in myself nor them. (See Ephesians 4:26-27)

• Don’t gossip! Only get counsel from those who are trustworthy.
• I want restoration, not revenge, nor the destruction of others, if I have righteous anger.
• Matthew 18 is about resolution, not destruction.

6. When I have blown it, take responsibility for my own part and ask forgiveness.

• First, make no excuses. (Luke 6:32:36)
• Work on myself first. Deal with my part regardless of whether they listen or not. (Matthew 7:3-5)
• Forgive their part. Forgive from the heart as the Lord forgave me. (Colossians 3:13)

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT AND DISCUSS:

Passages to consider: Proverbs 29:11; James 1:19-21; Ephesians 4:26-27,31-32; Exodus 34:6,7

• What stood out to you from the sermon?

1. How did you become aware of some of the “bosses”in your life?

2. Read Exodus 34:6,7 and James 119-21 OR choose a passage from the sermon. Read it twice. A) What do you discover about God in this passage? A) What do you discover about people in this? B) What do you discover about what can be the boss of you?

3. Talk about the idea of anger being a secondary emotion or the tip of an iceberg. A) What helps or could help you slow down, pause, and discern what is going on?

4. When you are angry, what kind of reaction or pathway do you follow? A) How does anger impact different parts of your world—family, fellow believers, work place, neighborhood, social media presence?

5. How do you deal with others when they are angry?

6. What has God been showing you about anger or the emotions that can be the boss of you?