Impress: Week Three – The Partnership                                                                                      Jim Putman

Review

• Remember the context – the church and home overlap and work together
• The goal -raising kids for the battle –the purpose for the pressing -enemies
• This week – the best way to train your children is to love your spouse
• Next week we will deal with the nuances that a broken world brings to the home so look forward to that – this week we look at the ideal

Clear responsibility given to us concerning our children

• We have been given a responsibility before God –
• Why do we do it – out of reverence for Christ
• Because of what He has done for us – where we were –slaves of Egypt -slaves to sin and death

Ephesians 5:21 (NIV) ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 6:1–5 (NIV)

Deuteronomy 6:1–9 (NIV) ¹ These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, ² so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. ³ Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you. ⁴ Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ⁵ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

How do I train them? – Gods Ideal – the spiritual community and marriage working together

Malachi 4:5–6 (NASB95) ⁵ “Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. ⁶ “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.”

Malachi 2:13–15 (NASB95) ¹³ “This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. ¹⁴ “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. ¹⁵ “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.

1. The commitment to love God as the leaders (fathers – parents)

• 6—upon your hearts
• You cannot pass on what you haven’t got yourself
• You can say the right words in spurts but more is caught than taught

2. Gods’ ideal way to teach is in a partnership –Understanding the partnership

• That doesn’t mean He can’t do it outside of this pathway
• Both parts are needed in the partnership
• Husbands and wives need each other to accomplish the Lords goals

Genesis 2:18 (NIV) ¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

3. The living model of submission and love

• Wives submit – respect –what is respect?
• Husbands –love and sacrifice –Remember what love is —
• Washing with the Word – this is Gods truth – righteousness
• You are Gods person – important to me and the mission
• Why would your children want to submit to you when you will not submit to the Lord who commands you?
• The Pyramid -racing to the bottom

Mark 9:35 (NIV) ³⁵ Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

Philippians 2:3–7 (NIV) ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: ⁶ Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; ⁷ rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NIV) ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)

Now we impress this upon our children together

• Using organized teachings
• In relationship
• Taking time
• Reminders –
• What you think and what you do is shared along the way

Last week – creating a list of what you want them to know

• Remember the enemies they will face and now and when they leave your home—the traps they face —internal flesh – cultural pressure – spiritual enemies

This week – combine your list with your wife’s –If you are a single parent – get with a spiritual mentor to talk about this – do you have the right list

Look at your schedule – put it on a calendar and rate 1 to 5 how much these events are helping you accomplish the task you have been given      Make changes if needed–

For Small Group Discussion

Opening Question: What do you think kids need to know before releasing them into the world? What did your parents equip you with before releasing you into the world?

Main Point: God’s blueprint for raising godly kids begins with a husband and wife that are committed to Christ and each other. Each spouse brings unique qualities and gifts that reflect Jesus in different ways. Husbands and wives are designed to partner together to have the best chance of raising their kids to know God.

Main Scripture: Ephesians 4:32-5:2 & 5:21-6:4

Head Questions

• What does mutual submission look like in a healthy marriage? What does the text say specifically to men and to women?
• What qualities do men and women typically bring to the table in parenting that differ from one another? How do those differing qualities give a broader picture of who God is?

Heart Questions

• Have you ever been led by two people who were not on the same page as each other? What was that like? 
• How do you think it impacts children when parents (or other adults) are at odds with each other? How does the idea of being “yoked” together apply to raising kids?

Hands Questions

• What is your end goal (or should be the end goal) in raising kids? 
• How can you and your spouse (or others in your life) be on the same team in raising up the next generation? 

Additional Scripture: Deuteronomy 6:5-9, Psalm 103:13, Proverbs 1:8-9, Philippians 4:6-7

Tips and Resources: This week is focusing specifically on God’s design for the family. However, singles, single parents and blended families hold a vital role in raising up the next generation. More on that next week.   

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