Game Changer: a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way.1

Historical Game Changers:

•  The Cell Phone (Motorola DynaTAC 8000x)
• The X-ray Machine
• Seat Belts

GAME CHANGERS: Changes that change everything!

Week1: Not Fighting Against, But Fighting For

TOP 10 BEST PRACTICES TO FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE—destroying both your marriage and family!

1. Demand respect disrespectfully.

2. Find all their faults and point them out as much as possible.

3. Expect them to be you.

4. Always be absolute.

5. Do not make sacrifices.

6. Do it your own way.

7. Never resolve a conflict.

8. Do not take responsibility for anything.

9. Do your best to take things as personal as possible.

10. Whatever you do, do not invest into your relationship.

NEHEMIAH AND REBUILDING THE PEOPLE

Nehemiah 4:6-17, 23 (ESV) 6So we built the wall. And all the wall was joined together to half its height, for the people had a mind to work.

Nehemiah 4:7-17, 23 (NLT) 7But the Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, and they were very angry. 8They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it. 9But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves. 10Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.” 11Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work.” 12The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, “They will come from all directions and attack us!” 13So I placed armed guards behind the lowest parts of the wall in the exposed areas. I stationed the people to stand guard by families, armed with swords, spears, and bows. 14Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!” 15When our enemies heard that we knew of their plans and that God had frustrated them, we all returned to our work on the wall. 16But from then on, only half my men worked while the other half stood guard with spears, shields, bows, and coats of mail. The leaders stationed themselves behind the people of Judah 17who were building the wall. The laborers carried on their work with one hand supporting their load and one hand holding a weapon. . . . 23During this time, none of us—not I, nor my relatives, nor my servants, nor the guards who were with me—ever took off our clothes. We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water.

BUILDING AND PROTECTING APPLICATIONS

• Verse 6: “mind” – lêb (labe): inner man, mind, will, heart, desire2
• Verse 6: Where is your heart, mind, and desire to do the hard work it takes to build/rebuild protection of your marriage and family? Have you quit, are you on cruise control, or are you actively building/rebuilding?
• Verse 9, God’s Part and Our Part: What have your prayers been lately regarding marriage and family? What are you actually setting your feetto?
• Verse 13: What are some of the “lowest parts of your wall”? What have you done or are you doing to strengthen and protect your weakest and most vulnerable areas of your marriage and family?
• Verse 16-17: What would it look like for you to work together and fight alongside your spouse and family?
• Verse 23: In what ways are you needing to stay more diligent and alert of lurking dangers?

TOP 10 BEST PRACTICES TO FIGHT FOR YOUR SPOUSE (building/rebuilding your exterior walls of defense)

1. Treat with respect (Luke 6:31)

2. Overlook faults (Micah 6:8)

3. Accept they are not you (1 Corinthians 12:14-27)

4. Choose grace (James 2:13)

5. Make sacrifices (1 Corinthians 13:5)

6. Ask for help (Proverbs 12:15)

7. Fight for resolution (Matthew 5:9)

8. Take responsibility (Matthew 5:23-24)

9. “You are not my enemy”(Ephesians 6:10-18)

10. Make deposits (Ephesians 5:28-29)

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY OPEN FLOOR PLAN

• DeconstructInterior Walls: warmth circulates and light shines better
• Strengthen and Insulate Exterior Walls: keeps the warmth in and the cold out

PERSONAL AND LIFE GROUP APPLICATION QUESTIONS:

• Icebreakers: What’s a funny or practical game changer in your life? What’s a more serious or significant game changer in your life?
• What interior walls (those in the middle of significant relationships) are you needing to deconstruct?
•  What exterior walls are you needing to create, mend, or rebuild in order for overall health and protection?
• Wisdom and discernment required: Just because you don’t burn a bridge doesn’t mean you need to cross it.