WHAT IS OFFENSE?

THE PROBLEM
• It seems like everywhere we look, people are offended. There are a variety of reasons people get offended.
o Personal rights are being infringed upon, others don’t support their views, disrespected, etc.
o The internet hasn’t helped us with this.
 The internet is the only place we can have the freedom of speech with the freedom of consequence.

DEFINTIONS:
• Offended: the state of being insulted or morally outraged1
• Offend: to cause (a person or group) to feel hurt, angry, or upset by something said or done1
• Offend: to irritate, annoy, or anger2

• We become offended in two ways:
o Those who have truly been treated unfairly.
o Those who believe they have been treated unfairly.
• None of this should surprise us! (See 2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Many Christians seem to think it is part of Christianity to be offended at things. In actuality… we should be the most unoffendable people on the planet. (See Colossians 3:12-14)

WHAT LIVING OFFENDED DOES TO US…
The biblical definition of offense:
Luke 17:1 (NKJV) Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses* should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!
o *skandalon: an offense, a stumbling block, a stick for bait (of a trap), generally a snare3
• It’s the idea that when you are living in offense, you are setting a trap or temptation.
o When I offend others, it tempts them to sin in response. When I hold onto my offense, I tempt myself to sin. Offense is a trap set by Satan to hurt us, and to hurt others.
• When I get offended, I’m almost always angry.
o Anger is an emotion. We have very little control over what we feel. We do, however, have control over how we respond to what we feel. That’s where sin comes in—not from the feeling, but from the response.
• We actually like to feel angry—not the source of our anger, but the feeling.
o It gives us a sense of moral superiority.
o We may feel like we’re justified in our offense and our actions, but ultimately, the Lord will judge that based on our motives. (See Proverbs 16:2)

In the Bible’s wisdom literature, anger is ALWAYS associated with foolishness.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT) Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.

• A major problem with getting angry at other people is when we get angry at them, we’re judging them.
o Not only is God the only one qualified to get angry and react, but He’s also the only one qualified to judge.
 God is just. Do you trust Him in His justice?
• Living offended breaks relationship.

OFFENSE’S KRYPTONITE: HUMILITY.
• There is hope. There are things we can do to help us not live in offense. It starts with our heart. (See Luke 6:45)
• Offense manifests itself with anger, but pride is the usual cause. At the heart of that battle is pride. Will I submit myself to what the Holy Spirit wants to produce in me, or am I going to demand my rights and feed my flesh?
• Jesus was God, and yet He submitted Himself to earthly authorities because the Father asked Him to.
• Whatever I am offended at, I stand just as guilty.
• “Do you see yourself as sinned against first, or a sinner first?”

THE ACTIONS THAT COMBAT OFFENSE
• When it comes right down to it, we choose to be offended. No one can offend you who you don’t let offend you.
• We also oftentimes choose to offend.
o There are people that if they were honest, they wear offensiveness as a badge of honor.
 That’s not godly.
o The Holy Spirit wants to help us be less offensive so that we can become more like Jesus.
 Also so that when we have an opportunity to share the love of Jesus, it might actually be received.
• There are people who have legitimately hurt us. It’s our choice to forgive, but God calls us to do that… always.

Forgiveness is a difficult subject, but the Bible is adamant about our need to forgive.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT) 14If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sin.

o We can do our best to forgive, and that doesn’t make the memories go away, does it?
• Developing good conflict resolution skills can help with both not taking offense and healing the relationship when we do offend.
• Ultimately, that’s what this series is about: our relationship with God and others. Living in offense will hurt both of those things.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
• What do you choose to be offended about?
• At what level do you live offended? How do you know or measure?
o You will probably need someone else’s feedback.
• Are you an offender?
• Are there people who you need to reconcile with—either forgiving or asking for forgiveness?

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT AND DISCUSS:
Passages to consider: 2 Timothy 3:2-4; Luke 17:1; Hebrews 12:14-15; Psalm 101:5; Matthew 17:24-27
Icebreaker: When an item breaks, are you a fix-it person or a get-a-new-one person? Share a story about that!

1. What from the sermon was impactful to you? What passage from God’s word has stuck with you?
2. What has been your experience with offense or being offended lately?
3. Read Matthew 17:24–27 & Luke 17:1-5. Read them twice. What is Jesus saying about offended? A) What does Jesus show us about being offended and being offensive in His example of living?
4. What do you find yourself being offended about? How do you respond when you are offended? A) What would you measure your “offended” level at? What about your irritation or anger level? (Would you be willing to ask someone close to you to help assess those levels?)
5. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-5 & Colossians 3:12-14. Compare and contrast these passages. What is similar, and what is different? What does this show you as you seek to follow Jesus? A) How does the fruit of the Spirit that is being cultivated in your life fit into this?
6. How will you become more aware of your own levels of picking up offense, anger/frustration, and being offensive this week? A) What relationships, situations, or patterns do you need to let God help you be aware of?